sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
