Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
