I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i love accidental penises.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
