Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
whose ass print is on the piano?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
