I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
