clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
