What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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