What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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