we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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