We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
