I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
