Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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