small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He felt like a one man threesome
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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