Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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