Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
