I CAN MOONWALK!
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
