They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
