i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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