I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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