I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
