Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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