was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
When are your genitals available?
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