That's intense
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
