The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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