i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
