I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
