Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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