I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
