He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
