What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
