Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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