I bet he comes in French.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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