I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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