I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
