why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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