I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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