I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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