Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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