But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
