I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
