So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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