Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Also, beer. Big fan.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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