he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so let's talk penis.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
