so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
