The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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