Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
