i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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