We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
