i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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