and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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