omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize