Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
