My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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