I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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