Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
