yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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