Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
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It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
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meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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