nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
