I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
