I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
