you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
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Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
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I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize