I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
