i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
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My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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