He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
