I just saw a hot homeless man
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
