Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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