i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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