I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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