i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
