i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
