Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
