my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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