how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
