if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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